An unfortunate death of a family elder took me recently to my hometown Bikaner in Rajasthan.
Notwithstanding the tragedy of the moment, what struck me wondrously, and in ways more than one, was the import of our social mores and customs, as they fit in all the facets of our life – from a celebration to a calamity; how the sincerity and honesty with which these customs are practiced in our small towns and cities makes them so relevant & useful, more so in times of grief.
I could see that none of the visiting ladies, who had come to commiserate with the widow, sported the bindi, in deference to her immense grief.
I could see that while the funeral procession passed through the bazaar, even some strangers joined in the funeral procession, chanting the holy name and taking turns to be the pall-bearers, brethren in a shared mourning, so to say.
I could see that all the people we passed, irrespective of their religious or caste affiliations, paused in whatever they were doing to pay obeisance to the dead. This included even the drivers of all the vehicles we passed. Those driving two-wheelers got off their vehicles.
I could see that while at the cremation grounds, none of the young were allowed to touch the feet of their elders in reverence, which is otherwise always expected of them. After all, each one of us was in attendance of the one irrefutable truth of life – the death, whom none could surpass in importance.
Far from being some inconsequential, dead rituals, as we forward–looking types are wont to consider them, I think all our customs are actually very finely-tuned responses to the psychological and social demands of the particular occasion.
It would therefore do well for us to neither discard our customs as hogwash nor mechanically adhere to them but to make an effort and understand their import, which could certainly enrich our lives a little bit.
4 comments:
A brilliant observation and well expressed . I too feel that there is always a logic behind every ritual we follow, it is upto individuals to find the relevance and keep the pace
Isn't it amazing how we start realizing (and believing) the very things that our younger minds used to find cumbersome and unnecessary? If we explore a layer deeper we will realise that there is so much to know and understand about living life that, that in itself is an education. There are scores of things we will never experience and have the chance to understand owing to the family or community we come from.
I am not sure if we now realise that with age comes the understanding of the importance of certain things and the inner need to follow them out of this knowledge. Most younger souls perceive it as rigidity. Even after saying this, I will still feel that the belief of my elders in certain things that I have not yet experienced, will seem to be rigidity rather than ways of life and solidarity in fellow humans.
It is a long soul searching journey (and discussion). Will end only with life itself.
Excellent article.
Thanks Anon and Kinara for your comments and of course for your appreciation.
Yes, as Kinara says, the canvas of real life is so big and so varied and so colourful, that if you really think about it, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
And, majey ki baat, this feeling of not knowing enough increases as you keep knowing more.
At tht risk of sounding pompous, I can surely say that the one way we can be at peace with ourselves is if we realise that antaryatra (the inner journey) is itself the destination. Kahin jaana nahin hai, hum pahunche hue hi hain. Sirf jaan jana hai.
You draw from the Alchemist is it? The quest for gold....
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